Between Clothes and Cameras
by Wombatasaurus
Summary: [Ectofeature] AU where Billy is an alive, fashion crazed employee at a clothing store. When he runs into an aspiring director, things start to get a little more interesting. Fashionista Billy idea from Episode 22. Title by Amy-Kate-chan Storys.
1. Mystery Shopper

**Note: Hey there! As you can tell by the title, and the summary, this is an AU where Billy is alive as a super suave fashion star. The design and idea of fashionista Billy comes from the episode "The Trouble with Hairy" (episode 22, I believe). It's my first multi-chaptered DTMG fic, but I think it gonna be lots of fun!**

**Now, I know not many people enjoy OCs, but I had to put a couple in here just because I didn't want Billy to be lonely. If you read my last ectofeature fic, you already got a little taste of Ash. Please, if you don't like OCs, don't take them seriously. (Oh, and I think it's a good idea to mention that this is ectofeature too :P)**

**So, to end my ever present banter, here is the story!**

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**Chapter 1**

**"Mystery Shopper"**

Billy makes no effort to cover his loud, wide-mouthed yawn. It's already been an hour since his shift had started, yet the small clothing store only had about two customers, one of which was rung up by Billy's co-worker, Dante.

The stylish cashier stretches his long arms over the black counter, which is splattered with various metallic paints to give it that "cool/hipster" look. Personally, Billy thinks it just looks like something a two-year-old could've whipped up. He looks over at a pile of clothing hangers, picks one up, and hangs it from one of his black gauges. Fun times.

It's no surprise there aren't many customers; Billy works at a small store hidden at the end of an equally small annex in the large Beverly Heights Mall. It is an out-of-the-way hipster store that seems to be too overpriced for some people. The manager, a woman who goes by "Madame X", had aptly named the store X-ternal; and Billy loathes her for it. Honestly, it's as if the lady does everything in her power to ensure that Billy (and Dante) earn lass than minimum wage due to lack of customers; and Billy simply can't handle it anymore.

Growing up, Billy wasn't like most boys. Instead of using sticks as pretend swords and having a strange fettish for fire trucks, Billy preferred to channel his energy to something more creative, such as fashion.

And oh, how Billy loves fashion. He would spend entire class periods sketching new outfits, not giving a single fuck about what his teacher would drone on about. However, now in his mid-twenties, Billy is tired of simple pencil sketches and daydreams. He wants to put his name out in the fashion world, have people recognize his work from a mile away. But for now, it seems as though he has to make do with what he has… which isn't a whole lot.

Plus, it doesn't help that most of the money Billy earns is spent on clothes. Currently, he is clad in an aqua shirt with an olive-green jacket over it, the jacket's collar being a light pink. Billy's jacket has a few multi-coloured buttons on it, and to top it all off (not literally...), his tight jeans are dyed a sharp violet. Normally, an outift with this many colours is considered a fashion train wreck. But because Billy's hair, gauges, and eyewear are so dark, it seems to work for him.

About a minute has passed since Billy zoned out, and now he is proudly donning a chain of clothing hangers from his right earlobe; sort of like monkeys in a barrel. He sighs and slams his head on the counter. Is this really what his life has come to? Apparently so, seeing as how Billy is currently acting pretty childish, even for him and- wait! What is that noise? Is that a customer? Billy stiffens and stops breathing to listen better.

Yes, there is definitely someone else in the store right now. Billy lifts his head from the counter and tries to nonchalantly see who it is. With Dante currently on lunch, Billy is the only one in the store to ring up this "mystery shopper."

There's a bit of rustling coming from the guys' section. Ringing up guys is a little more monotonous than girls (alas, not all men have Billy's sense of fashion), but a customer is a customer.

Billy is about to turn to a random clothing rack to make himself look busy, but accidentally catches one of the hangers from his gauges on a wire rack. It yanks his ear and nearly rips it apart- if not for Billy's quick reflexes. It hurts like hell.

"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" he loudly hisses as he winces in pain. Billy, quickly realizing there is someone else in the store, freezes. He straightens himself up and unhooks the first hanger from his gauge, letting the chain fall to the floor._ I'll get them later_. He turns backs around to the counter, to busy himself and act as if he didn't just make a crude outburst, when he notices that the "mystery shopper" is right on the other side of the counter, staring at him.

Holy Mother of God, Billy thinks. This guy is gorgeous. His reddish brown eyes compliment his sun-kissed skin so well, and his hair! Oh, what demon did he make a deal with to get such thick, chestnut-coloured hair? Sure, it's unruly and looks like a bitch to maintain, but it's the good kind of messy. The really, really hot kind of messy. Billy moves his field of vision to study the guys clothes. They're a bit baggy and don't fit too well with his scrawny-esque figure; just a plain t-shirt and skinny jeans. Billy inwardly frowns; this guy needs help.

The wannabe fashion star looks up at to meet the guy's eyes again. He now has one eyebrow raised. Oh hell, this guy probably thinks Billy's some kind of mental patient now. Just peachy.

Billy clears his throat, which seemed to have gotten dry a while ago. "You, err, need something, brototype?" The guy just looks more confused than before, but replies nevertheless.

"Uh, well, I was wondering if I could use a changing room?" He gestures to a couple of shirts he's holding; shirts Billy was completely oblivious to until now. Billy nods, a little too quickly.

"Sh-sure, they're right over here, Monte Carbro." Billy walks out from behind the counter over to a couple of empty changing rooms. He gestures to them with his thumb. "Take your pick."

Billy is given a curt nod as the guys makes his way over to the dressing rooms. After the guy enters one and closes the curtain, Billy grips onto a nearby clothing rack and tries to steady his heartbeat. God, he looked like an idiot; what was going on just then!? When he's with his friends, Billy is usually the most calm and easy going out of everyone. Now, in the presence of a complete stranger no less, Billy is a wreck.

Thankfully, his short attention span doesn't let him think about the subject for much longer, and his gaze lands on the unoccupied dressing room. It's empty (no shit, really?), but for some reason there's a few articles of clothing left on the bench. Bastards didn't even bother returning them to the front counter. Billy sighs as he goes to retrieve them.

The room is dark and small, which isn't a surprise because for crying out loud it's a dressing room. The walls are painted in a deep purple, and the small bench in the room is covered in rainbow glitter, much to the dismay of customers who don't appreciate buying clothing covered in sparkles. On the wall is a mirror, and on the bench, a pile of clothes; the reason Billy is here in the first place.

Billy picks up a shirt from the bench and starts to fold it (what type of shirt is up to the reader's imagination to decide!). The rustling of fabric can be heard coming from the other dressing room, which is directly adjacent to the one Billy's in. He pauses his folding and looks around, really for no reason. When Billy's eyes land upon the ceiling, he groans in disdain. Hanging on the ceiling is a cobweb. A dirty, old, disgusting cobweb.

Billy, not in the mood for housekeeping, reluctantly climbs onto the bench to get rid of the audacious cobweb hanging on the ceiling. He picks up a clothing hanger from the bench, as he would never in a million years touch something so filthy with his bare hands. As Billy is standing on the bench, he notices that the cobweb is directly above the short wall separating the two changing rooms.

He tells himself no. No, Billy. Fight the temptation. Resist the urge to look over the thin, purple wall and see the super hot customer change out his clothes... Yeah, there's no way in hell Billy's passing this up. He bites his lip before getting onto his tiptoes, careful not to make a sound. He cranes his neck to see over the wall, just enough for his eyes to poke out on top of the plywood divider. Billy nearly faints.

There, a mere few feet from Billy, is an angel- no. A god! He had just taken a shirt off, and is now trying to get the hanger off of another one. Little does the zambroni know, he is being watched. Billy covers his mouth with one hand to make sure he is silent. The guy looks in the mirror as he is about to put a Batman shirt on, and it is only a second before he sees Billy's face in the corner of the mirror. His eyes widen and his jaw drops to the floor.

Billy ducks behind the wall and slips on a shirt that's still on the bench. He falls onto his bum, causing quite the scene as clothes and hangers fly in the air. Cringing, Billy hears the customer storming into the changing room he's in. The employee looks up to see the customer standing in the doorway, looking angry, creeper out, and in shock. _Bloody hell._

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**Note: Thank you for reading. If you have any title suggestions please let me know!**


	2. Aww, Billy You're Not a Perv

**Note: Hi ho, everyone! Thanks so much to everybody that reviewed, followed, and favourited, you all are such babes.**

**Ooh, and another thing... I noticed how in my first chapter I spent a lot of time describing the "mystery shopper" (shut up, Wombat, we all know it's Sp- SHOOSH) and zero time describing Billy. While I already told y'all which episode his character design comes from, I added another paragraph just for kicks. (Paragraph 6) You can read it if you want.**

**I'm mega sorry for taking so long to update. I had mountains of homework and then I had writer's block, plus I was just plain lazy... yeah, I kinda suck. Please bear with me and enjoy this chappie.**

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**Chapter 2**

**"Aww, Billy. You're Not a _Perv_."**

The first thing Billy notices is that the guy is still shirtless. The second is the look in his eyes. Billy wants to disintegrate into the pile of clothes and never return, but that simply isn't an option. Flaming brown eyes stare into Billy's, waiting for some sort of explanation. When the customer does not receive said explanation, though, he takes matters into his own hands.

"What the hell was that?" he whispers, and Billy can just see the steam coming from the top of his head. But Billy can't immediately answer. Instead, he lowers his shoulders and tries to seem as calm as possible, proceeding to stand and brush himself off. A few articles of clothing fall to the floor, and the guy stares at them, then back up at Billy. Now that he is less nervous, the store clerk gives the brunette and answer.

"Look, Brohemian Rhapsody, I'm really sorry bout that. There was a cobweb," he points to the ceiling, "and all I was trying to do was get it down."

Lips pursed, the guy stares at Billy. Probably thinking something like "Is this guy for real?" Still under the stranger's harsh gaze, Billy bends down to pick up the clothes that have fell. With a disgruntled-sounding sigh, the customer exits the small dressing room and goes to the one he had just previously occupied. Billy is extra prudent in his motions as he takes the clothes over to the counter to be folded.

A little bit of time passes, and soon Billy looks up from his folding work when he hears the guy come out of the dressing room, wearing the shirt he wore when he came in and his arm full of others. All folding ceases when the customer approaches the counter, while also taking out his wallet. _Holy shit, he's actually gonna buy them._Billy tries to act nonchalant and looks down at the shirts on the counter.

"Ahem."

Billy looks back up again and sees that the guy is in front of the counter again.

"You, uh, gonna buy those shirts, broseph?" The customer doesn't say anything, but nods as he hands Billy the articles of clothing, which are immediately run up. As he scans the shirts, Billy decides to give the guy some fashion advice.

"You know, you could wear the green long sleeve under the Ghostbusters tee because... you know, ghosts."

The guy looks at Billy for a nanosecond before giving his attention back to the clothes and acknowledging the clerk with a "Huh". At least it was progress.

As he is just about to complete the whole transaction, Billy pauses and thinks to himself for a moment. A brilliant idea pops into his head, and he is very tempted to make that wicked smirk-face-thing that the Grinch makes... but he doesn't. Instead, he looks up and clears his throat.

"That'll be $34.85... but if you, uh, sign up for a membership, you'll get 30 percent off of all these." The guys raises an eyebrow, as if to say he couldn't care less about some stupid discount. Even though Billy already gets the point, the shopper lowers his brow and shakes his head.

"That's okay, I'll just pay full price."

_Dammit,_ Billy thinks. His plan was _already_ falling apart. Desperate for said plan to work, he goes on. "But with a membership, you can get new deals every week. Plus, it's free."

Billy can see the look in the guy's eyes. It seems like he is just too tired to put up a fight, and decides that, as they say, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

"Fine, I'll get a membership." _Awww yiss! Okay Billy, stay cool. You've made it this far. _

"Suave. Okay, so you just hafta answer a couple questions so we can send you discounts or whatever, and you'll be signed up."

The guy puffs up his cheeks and let's out a long breath. "Okay then, ask away."

"Alrighty... Name?"

"Spencer Wright."

Billy glances up at him as he types the name in. Yeah, Billy guesses he looks like a Spencer. "Birthday?"

"February 2nd, 1993." So he just turned twenty-one. Huh.

"Phone number?"

"421-7939." It isn't hard to hear the vexation in "Spencer's" voice (Lordy, Billy finds it weird to refer to him like that in his head).

"Uh huh, and... last but not least, address?"

"6125 Malloy Avenue." Billy hums and nods, and when he's finished typing, emphasizes his tap on the enter key.

"Okie dokie, John Stambros. You're signed up now!" Billy finally finishes the transaction and Spencer swipes his debit card with a little "huh" at Billy's exclamation. After putting the clothes in a plastic bag, Billy hands the purchases to Spencer. "Have a good one!" He says with a smile, brightly daubed on his face.

Spencer nods and takes the clothes, giving Billy a quiet "you too" as he exits the store. When Billy is sure that Spencer is out of the store, his smile vanishes as he sighs and slumps over on top of the counter.

_Have a good one. _Have a good _what_? Have a good time trying to forget that that you've been sexually harassed by a 25 year old man that still wears little-plushy-duckie-slippers? Billy bites his lip.

His plan actually worked. Now, he not only knows the guy's name, but he knows his age, phone number, where he lives... This wasn't how Billy wanted to be. He never wanted to be a creepy perv working at some hipster store in the mall. Yet here he is, violet coloured pants and all.

Poor, poor Billy.

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"Guys suck," Billy's friend, Ash, states as she takes a bite out of a chicken nugget. The two of them are sitting together in the food court, both on their lunch breaks; though, Billy doesn't feel like eating today. There are too many butterflies in his stomach, and he has yet to tell Ash about his little... encounter, from earlier this morning.

"How so, Babe-roham Lincoln?" As much as Billy loves Ash, he can't help the slight tinge of annoyance emitting from his question.

She sighs and tugs on her short, cotton-candy pink hair. Ash is quite the character. She currently works at the small "World of Anime" store, on the opposite side of the mall from X-ternal. Her uniform consists of a white polo shirt with the letters WOA embroidered onto it. Today she opted to wear red cargo shorts with a small black bow in her hair.

When Ash doesn't answer Billy's question, he knows the only thing to do is to pry.

"What did he forget this time?" It seems, to Billy, as though he is saying this phrase more and more often; the "he" being Ash's boyfriend.

"That son of a bitch left me sitting on the front steps of the library until ten! Jegus, he said he would pick me up at nine, but apparently he had to 'help his mother' or something." Billy lets out a sympathetic sigh. The main characteristic that is prominent in both him and Ash, is complete and utter narcissism. If the world doesn't revolve around them, it might as well not even exist.

Ash looks up at Billy, suddenly realizing the she is acting just a _tad_ bit bitchy. Just a tad.

"Sorry, dude."

"Oh no, Baber-tooth tiger. I was just thinking about this one thing that happened today." Ash's eyes widen in curiosity. She scooches her chair closer to Billy's, looking sort of childish.

"Well, go on," she demands. "What's up?" Billy blushes. The previous events from that morning aren't ones he's gonna write home about. Well, maybe if his home is a mental institution. Acting uncharacteristically bashful, Billy scratches the back of his neck and looks at some random vending machine in the distance.

"Well, there was this guy..."

"Was he hot?"

"Yes."

"Called it." Ash mentally pats herself on the back, while Billy seems to get rather frustrated for being so predictable.

"Yeah, well... there was this hot guy, and well... something happened."

"Like what?"

"I, er... took a _tiny_ peek at him in the changing room and he, uh, caught me." Ash doesn't seem phased by this at all.

"And?" Billy looks at her, confused. She lets out an exasperated sigh and continues. "What's his name? How old is he? Do you think he'll come back to X-ternal?"

"His name is Spencer Wright, he's only a few couple of years younger than me, and I highly doubt he'd wanna come back to a store that employs pervs like me."

"Aww, Billy," Ash coos as she rubs Billy's shoulder sympathetically. "You're not a _perv._ You were just curious."

Billy snorts. "Try telling that to him."

"Well, at least he didn't seem too pissed. Otherwise, he wouldn't have given you his name."

"Well, er... he kinda only did that because I sorta made him get one of those membership-card-thingys."

Ash mock-gasps and takes her hand off of Billy's shoulder. "Baruch Cohen! You should be ashamed of yourself! Misusing the scarcity of the membership-card-thingy just so you can know this hot dude's name?"

Billy rolls his eyes. Even if Ash _is_ joking, Billy doesn't like it when people use his real name. Sure, when he becomes a famous fashion designer, it would look pretty suave on a label. But for the time being, he is a normal guy working in the mall, and he is going to be called Billy (Joe Cobra... just for kicks).

To show his distaste in "that name", Billy decides to fight fire with fire.

"Well if you must know, Nah-tah-shah, I was helping him get a 30 percent discount on his purchase!" Billy makes sure to emphasize every syllable of Ash's real name, causing the "pinkette" to pout.

"Not cool, man." Ash doesn't like to be reminded of her strict, Russian upbringing. Her parents had just moved from the tiny town of Frunze when they had Ash, and decided to give her a beautiful Russian name: Natasha. But, with that said, Ash was always expected to sit with the "Russians" during lunch, and wear "sensible" clothes. But, unlike most of her Russian kin, Ash soon became fascinated with anime and tumblr, which is why she cut and died her hair, moved away from her family, and now works at the only anime store in town.

Billy gives Ash his best puppy-dog face. "I'm sorry."

She gives him a bigger pout and stuffs a chicken nugget in her mouth. Billy bats his long, black eyelashes and Ash pretends to groan. "Augh! Fine, I forgive you... _maybe_."

The X-ternal employee just grins and shrugs. "Good enough for me." He is returned with a lighthearted laugh as Ash wipes her hands on a napkin. Turning to Billy, Ash's face softens a bit, giving her a maternal-type expression.

"Don't worry, Billy; it's not the end of the world. Plus, who cares if he doesn't go back to the store? Wouldn't that be better because you don't have to feel... shit, I dunno. Awkward?"Billy bites the inside of his cheek. That was pretty true, but he really wants to see Spencer again because, hot dayum, he's gorgeous.

After not getting a reply for a while, Ash checks her phone, then gasps melodramatically. "Well, it looks like my lunch break is _just about_ done, so I'd best be heading out." She picks up her food and stands up from her chair. "Bye bye, Billy." She gives him a wave and begins to walk away.

"Ciao." It's halfhearted and drawn on for too long, but Billy doesn't care. He sighs and looks at the now empty table. There's still about ten minutes left of his break, and he doesn't even have food to keep him occupied. The rest of the day is going to be shit.

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Well, it wasn't entirely shit, Billy figures out as he comes home. It was actually pretty uneventful, but Billy still feels extremely tired once he come back to his little studio flat. It's pretty bare; there's a bed, an arm chair, a lap top, and a desk to sketch designs. He doesn't bother kicking off his shoes and head straight to the fridge to find something edible. There's nothing, as per usual.

With a loud groan, Billy slinks away and flops onto his bed, causing his laptop to bounce a bit. He stares at it. Hmm... maybe a Netflix marathon could get his mind off of Spencer and fucking his perfect body... Wait! Wait! I mean, his _perfect fucking_ body. Hehehe...

So, with an empty stomach, four hours of Doctor Who embedded into his cranium, and a tiny voice in the back of his mind continuously scolding him, Billy finally manages to fall asleep.


End file.
